//.broken.//

...down here...

"And here Alice began to get rather sleepy, and went on saying to herself, in a dreamy sort of way, `Do cats eat bats? Do cats eat bats?' and sometimes, `Do bats eat cats?' for, you see, as she couldn't answer either question, it didn't much matter which way she put it.
She felt that she was dozing off, and had just begun to dream that she was walking hand in hand with Dinah, and saying to her very earnestly, `Now, Dinah, tell me the truth: did you ever eat a bat?' when suddenly, thump! thump! down she came upon a heap of sticks and dry leaves, and the fall was over. "


"It was all very well to say `Drink me,' but the wise little Alice was not going to do THAT in a hurry. `No, I'll look first,' she said, `and see whether it's marked "poison" or not'; for she had read several nice little histories about children who had got burnt, and eaten up by wild beasts and other unpleasant things, all because they WOULD not remember the simple rules their friends had taught them: such as, that a red-hot poker will burn you if your hold it too long; and that if you cut your finger VERY deeply with a knife, it usually bleeds; and she had never forgotten that, if you drink much from a bottle marked `poison,' it is almost certain to disagree with you, sooner or later."

"`Come, there's no use in crying like that!' said Alice to herself, rather sharply; `I advise you to leave off this minute!' She generally gave herself very good advice, (though she very seldom followed it), and sometimes she scolded herself so severely as to bring tears into her eyes; and once she remembered
trying to box her own ears for having cheated herself in a game of croquet she was playing against herself, for this curious child was very fond of pretending to be two people."

So I feel like complete crap. This bright screen is making my head hurt worse but I am bored and can't sleep anymore. I've been in bed since I got out of work..so that's 13 hours. UGH
Stupid me volunteered to stay the night and make pies. We had to make 350 pies. So I spent a little over 13 hours at the barrel.
Hopefully next week's check will be nice, because I clocked in as SA=$9/hr.
Anyhow my head's been hurting all day now.
Good news=I DO get to go home Friday/for the weekend.
Bad news= Rashan is coming home for the first time since Sunday LATE Thursday night and is off Friday.
But at least he won't be at the store opening for the week I get back. The St Pete one is delayed a week.
I should probably eat. But of course I woke up when the stores were about to close.
blah
I still feel like I have pie EVERYWHERE.
I've become obsessed with Naruto.
That's all I've been watching for the past week or so.
Poor Rashan is so far behind me now :(
Anyhow i need to figure out if i'm going to eat/go back to sleep or do whatever.
night

Not in my apartment, you don't
Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Two men allegedly invaded a Hillsborough County apartment complex on Bruce B. Downs Boulevard near USF just after midnight Wednesday morning.

An 18-year-old girl and her 22-year-old boyfriend said they were inside their second-floor apartment waiting for some friends to come over when two masked men knocked on the door and forced their way in.

The teen grabbed her cell phone and called 911, while her boyfriend started fighting with the home invaders.

"He took a chair and he hit the suspect with it and the girl, who resides there as well, she came in and she was trying to intervene during the course of it and so she was also hitting at the suspect as well," said Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office spokesperson Debbie Carter.

The girl says she tried to get their shotgun, but it was too heavy for her to lift. The suspects hit the boyfriend on the head with a glass bottle during the fight, but he was able to hold down one of them until deputies arrived.

Christopher Anthony Paris, 23, of Miramar, was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and home invasion robbery, both felonies, and misdemeanor battery. He's in the Orient Road Jail on $23,000 bond.

The other suspect got away.


The girl in story=Liza, a girl I work with. The suspect that got away=Collie, a guy that used to work with us at the Barrel. I was going to give my puppy to him. :( He knows where I live, so that could have just as easily been me. AND I have been home alone for a couple days.
It's freaking scary anyhow, you think you know someone. I'm just kinda freaked out. I'm all checking into the closets and carrying around my handy dandy knife.

So they turned the cable off.
And I have to go make ANOTHER payment on the electric.
And write a check to buy groceries.
And cash in the change.
Rashan's check goes through tonight so HOPEFULLY we can get the rent paid and figure out the rest.

I don't know if they're going to give me my weekend off to go back to PC.
That sucks.
I was so aggravated last night & ready to just walk out.
BUT I didn't. Because we so desperately need the money.
I really hope I get that weekend off.

I have been waiting and waiting for Thursday so Rashan can get paid and we can make sure we can pay rent, so I can figure out all the rest of the bills from there.
I did get my cell phone back on.
Just in time-Verizon shut off our house phone.
But for some odd reason, our internet is still working.
SCORE!
Today is Rashan's first day at the store opening.
But he's going to travel back and forth so YAY I don't have to go a week without seeing him.
Right now I'm trying to clean up as much as I can before I head into work tonight.
The place is a mess.
Tomorrow I don't have to work so I'll probably do the laundry (who wants to help?).

A lot of people at work have noticed that I've been down lately, so they all have been coming up and giving me hugs & offering me support. That's been really nice.

We had a drunken monopoly party at Felicia's on Wednesday, it was pretty fun.
I wasn't entirely sure I was going to go but I am glad I did.

I went through my degree audit for my BA is psych. I've got about 56 credits left to take.
That's about, eh, 4 semesters or so left. That is if I buckle down. Which I really need to do.
Hopefully once we get everything caught up I won't be so stressed/depressed/avoidant.
I need to seriously grow up & figure my crap out. I could have almost been done by know.

Rashan is leaving Tuesday for the store opening. While he's gone I can do some serious cleaning/studying. Maybe pick up some shifts at work to try to get the ball rolling here.

As far as I know right now, I'm going home the Friday night after Thanksgiving & heading back that Sunday.

Hmmm....what else? That's about all there is folks.

So basically I have been beyond stressed.
We are close to $2000 in debt, and we have yet to pay rent.
Any day now Rent King will be knocking on our door to retrieve their computer.
The electric SHOULD have been turned off a couple days ago, but somehow we lucked out and they haven't yet.
The account is in the negative almost $300.
My phone has been turned off for almost a month,
Rashan's is about to be turned off WITH the DSL/home phone & cable.
I won't be able to go home for Thanksgiving, because I'll be working.
I don't know if I can afford the gas money to go home AT ALL.
We've had a spare tire on the Aspire for over a month now.
Besides that, both of the cars are about to far apart.
Rashan's vacation pay didn't go through until a week later because there was a "clerical error" that completely FUCKED us over.
I am so sick of shit NOT working out for us.
We're lucky that we're not in an apartment complex, because I'm sure we would have been evicted a long time ago for so many late rent payments.
I've been stressed about my weight, and I have been trying to work out but I just can't find the energy anymore.
I've been breaking out and I look like a complete fat slob.
I'm sick of our place looking like we JUST moved in because we can't afford any furniture.
I don't have the energy nor desire to do well in school at this point.
I've already said FUCK IT.
It's not like I know what the fuck I wanna do with my life anyway.
I've been in school for 2 years now and I've accomplished nothing.
It's about the time when I get fed up with work and I have to deal with the bitch Ginny and all her bullshit and I just wanna say fuck it sooo bad, but I know I can't keep doing that shit.
But.... I just can't put on a fucking happy face and deal with people's attitudes, be it other employess or customers, without fighting the temptation to punch them in their face.

Hmmm...
what should I be for Halloween?





and juust because I can...
enjoy...

further proof that rashan and i belong together:

we were laying in bed and his butt was facing me.
he kept rocking back n forth off the bed.
I told him that if he had to fart he had better turn his ass around.
He told me that he didn't...that he was playing boat.
"See...look.." (he leans off bed & picks up something) "a sting ray"
then he stings (?) me with it...

Been kinda down as of late.
Been sleeping A LOT.
Haven't felt like going to class.
Doing absolutely horrible.
Will probably have to take these courses over.
Work repeatedly pisses me off.
But I am now a PaR II server. Yay.
And I get paid more than the regular SAs(server assistants) because I rox.

On a better note-
Rashan was on vacation this past week.
We got to spend a lot of time together. ^.^
However for practically the whole month of November he'll be in either St.Pete or Plant City (I think) doing store openings. That means no time for me.
However, that means that he'll be making decent money so hopefully we'll be able to catch up-somewhat.

No Howl-O-Scream. Or Guavaween.
Really wanted to go this year.
But oh well-there's always next.
We're going to see Saw III.
Not that we can afford it or anything,
but oh well. We haven't been able to do anything Rashan's whole vacation
so thhpp.
Anyways, we're about to leave.

...

So I found this picture of me from a couple years ago..




And I was WAAY skinnier than I am now.
So I am going on a diet/starting to walk/run/exercise because I feel like a complete blob.
I can't believe I let myself get soo...nasty. UGH.
So that's all been kinda depressing.
And I did pretty bad on my first test in each of my classes so I have to do REALLY good in order to get at least a B.

Money has been tight because IHOP has been slow so Rashan's can't work as much..and the Barrel has been slow so I haven't been making that much.
And it always seems like some BS happens that inhibits us from getting ahead. Or even. Like this time, Rashan's T-Mobile account apparently was set to EasyPay where they take it out of your account each month. So they took out $150. So there's only $100 in the account. And we owe Amsoct $441. And we have to pay them before we pay rent. Which is already 6 days late. aye dios mio.We have so many clothes to wash...and we can't afford to wash more than like a load at a time.

I dunno. It's whatever. Screw it.

I'm sad :(

Shadow went byebye today.

I almost couldn't do it.
Afterwards I cried. :*(

Anyhow-gotta get to class.

Two Names You Go By

1. Crys
2. Crystal

Two Parts of Your Heritage

1. Native American
2. German

Two Things That Scare You

1. Snakes
2. Heights (bridges mostly)

Two of Your Everyday Essentials

1. Computer
2. Rashan

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now

1. Fairy necklace
2. Glasses

Two of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists (at the moment)

1. Evanescence
2. From Autumn to Ashes

Two Things You Want in a Relationship (other than Real Love)

1. Honesty
2. Trust

Two Truths

1. People are attracted to confidence in others.
2. I have to pee.

Two Physical Things that Appeal to You About the Opposite Sex.

1. Muscles
2. Eyes

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies

1. Being an internet loser.
2. Reading

Two Things You Want Really Badly

1. To figure out what I want to do in life.
2. To get married to Rashan in Hawaii...and have my Dad there to support me.

Two Places You Want to go on VacationTwo Things You Want to Do Before You DieTwo Ways That You are Stereotyped

1. ...
2. ...

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now

1. Going pee.
2. What to make for dinner.

Two Stores You Shop At

1. Wal-Mart
2. Publix

Two people you haven't talked to in a while

1. Crystal
2. Gianna

Two favorite web sites

1. myspace
2. lj

Two pets you had (have)

1. Tripps
2. Shadow

Two Favorite Sports

1. soccer
2. volleyball

Two People who will fill this out

1. who
2. knows

Two things you did last night

1. worked
2. threatened several people

Two shows you like to watch

1. nip/tuck
2. family guy

Two places you like to go "out" to

1. wherever there's cool peeples
2. ^^

45 of the most random things you probably never needed to know about someone

What do you do when you are bored?
read. write. draw. fuck around on the comp.

What did you do last night?:
worked.

The last thing you downloaded onto your computer?:
music.

Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery?:
lol...indeed.

Last time you swam in a pool?:
uhmmmm...when my sis came to visit all those years ago.

What are you wearing?:
green & blue pj pants & a wifebeat

How many cars have you owned?:
technically 3

Type of music you dislike most?:
country

Are you registered to vote?:
yes

Do you have cable?:
only as of recently

What kind of computer do you use?:
right now...a compaq

Ever made a prank phone call?:
a couple

You like anyone right now?
indeed

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?:
no

Furthest place you ever traveled?:
texas

What's your favorite comic strip?:
dilbert, garfield & pearls before swine

Do u know all the words to the national anthem?:
uhh sure

Shower, morning or night?:
both

Best movie you've seen in the past month?:
uhmm..clerks 2

Favorite pizza toppings?:
pepp & x cheese

Chips or popcorn?:
chips

What cell phone provider do you have?:
t-mobile

Have you ever smoked peanut shells?:
uhhhhmmm cant say that i have

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?:
when i was a baby

Orange Juice or apple?:
oj

Who were the last people you sat at lunch with?:
technically derrick yesterday @ work

Favorite chocolate bar?:
twix

Who is your longest friend and how long?:
perla-like 10 years

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?:
never

Have you ever won a trophy?:
say hello to the winner of the baby beauty contest.

Favorite arcade game?:
uhmm i like the one @ busch gardens with the helmet

Ever ordered from an infomercial?:
no..but have been really tempted

Sprite or 7-UP?:
sprite

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work?:
no

Last thing you bought at Walgreens?:
yikes. i dunno

Ever thrown up in public?:
yes

Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?:
true love

Do you believe in love at first sight?:
no

SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON?:
your mom

Did you have long hair as a young kid?:
kinda

What message is on your voicemail machine?:
"this is crystal-you must have missed me. leave one and i'll get back to you"

Where would you like to go right now?
asleep again

Whats the name of your pet?:
Shadow, Tripps

What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it?:
it's cam dickies. it has lots of pens & my folder

What do you think about most?:
rashan

I eat babies.

Covered in chocolate.